Contained Schizophrenia

My urine is bright orange
Due to the pills they made me swallow
Thankfully I’m not shallow
And those paranoid thoughts my mind adores
Though I swallow the pills they still come more
And that misplacing of my things….it seems
I blacked out and did myself
No need to make a scene
And though they medicate my three times a day
And the pills they prescribe calm me down and sedate
I still constantly debate
Should I kill myself now. . . if. . . if… this is my fate.



Another old poem written around the same time as "Marilyn" and "Monster Ego."

At this point, I feel I must mention--about a month before my enrollment in my first creative writing class I was released from Tyler Mental Health Acute Psychiatric Unit. Not my first time being committed and definitely not my last, I'll just admit that now. Though, I doubt there was any confusion in the reader's mind.